Unity: a Powerful Alternative to Hate
June 1, 2020
Written By: Sarah Jenkins, MSW, RCSWI
In a time when the Covid-19 epidemic is lifting, the sad reality of life is back: racism and hate still exist. It was interesting how when the world perseverated on Covid for the last few months, they forgot about the other things in this world that were still going on that are much more catastrophic to humanity: hate.
I love this quote to get a better understanding of hate and why it exists, “I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” – James Baldwin
Hatred is a great cover up for people, to protect them from themselves. While they are focused on everyone else, judging others, hating others, they never deal with the pain underneath the hate: themselves. So many people in this world never experience enough pain to focus on themselves. I have this conversation with people in recovery quite often as people who are “addicts” or “alcoholics” have the blessing and understanding to realize they are the cause and solution to all of their problems. Unfortunately, people who are not in recovery, often do not get this same level of realization, so they hate.
Before I get into the facts, first we must learn to separate “feelings” from “facts.”
Feelings are Not Facts
When we treat our feelings as facts, we spread negative energy like wildfire. This changes the perspective of others, and of ourselves. Causes an unconscious bias. Like everything and everyone, people are both good and bad. There are no people who are better or worse than others, people should not be idolized or condemned. This is my belief, what I feel. And you may disagree, yet it is not a fact, just your belief, it’s what you feel. Humans, by creation, are inherently flawed. No matter the degree, life training, years of sobriety, wealth, position in Congress, job title, etc., people are people with mistakes, imperfections, fears, deep wounds, some can see their wounds and are awake while others are blind, thinking people are better or worse than they are. These judgments are what creates divides between humans, implicitly cause us to treat people differently, whether we like them too much or do not like them at all, this is based on judgment. The same problem with organized religions, theirs is “right” and everyone else is “wrong.” When we tie ourselves to social constructs, judgments or beliefs, or treat our feelings as facts, we become close minded and unable to see reality. The good and bad in everyone, the beauty and ugliness within ourselves. We are not one or the other, we are both. Lightness and darkness. And everything in between.
Looking at the Facts
So now that we have separated feelings form facts, lets look at the facts. If you watch the news, ascribe to social media, follow what is going on in the world based on the media, you think this world is falling apart, the world is worse than it ever was, and there’s no reason to vote because it does not get any better. I had an enlightening conversation with one of my lifelong friends about this very thing, her degree is in sociology and mine is in social work, so we had this great political discussion. Why people do not vote, why people want to get out of America and move to other countries, why people do not want to have kids and bring kids into this world, and how the Millennial generation (that’s me) is the most ethnically diverse generation, meaning we have the most diverse voting population, giving us so much power! Yet many of us do not vote. A lot of us get our information from the media and social media, so our views are biased, and there is this sense of learned helplessness. People don’t vote because they feel like it doesn’t matter. Basing reality purely on feelings gets us in trouble. We have two sides of the brain, logic and emotions, we are born with both for a reason. We need both.
Change is slow. I love statistics because it gives me a better idea of what is really going on. When you look at facts, not feelings, you can get a better idea of reality. Here are some ways that our country has grown, for the better, and changed drastically. Change is slow and if you don’t want to see it, you won’t. I like looking for how we ARE progressing, how we are moving forward, and how this country is much safer and more diverse than it has ever been.
Ethnic Diversity in Congress
Congress is the most culturally diverse it has ever been. While it is not perfect and certainly not representative of our population in the US, it has drastically improved. In 1984, 94% of Congress was White and only 6% made up the minority population.
Currently, there are 116 members in congress who are Black, Native American, or Hispanic, making up 21% of the population. This is a significant improvement compared to 1984. Change is slow, but it is happening.
Women in Congress
In 1984, there were 24 women in congress out of 540 total members, making up just 4.4% of the seats. Currently in the 116th congress, there are 127 women out of 541 members of congress, making up 23.4% of the population in congress. Still not equal, but significantly improved.
Source: https://thehill.com/homenews/house/424449-116th-congress-breaks-records-for-women-minority-lawmakers
Violent Crime Rates
Since my job is talking with people and having intimate discussions, I often discover people’s fears and how their fears are not reality based. Fear is typically not based on reality, again, it’s based on a feeling and not on facts. Many people are afraid to bring children into this world because of how “bad” it is in America. If you look at the department of justice and actual statistics on violent crimes, you will see how America is safer than it has ever been before.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/10/17/facts-about-crime-in-the-u-s/
War on Drugs
Lastly, to demonstrate how voting matters, how the Millennial generation has the power to make serious changes, let’s look at Marijuana legalization, something my generation is passionate about. When there is passion, and belief that you can make powerful changes, you don’t feel helpless. You feel like you have control, that you matter, and you have the power to make significant changes. So many people were excited to vote on the legalization of marijuana, so they voted, and you can tell. Look at this map of the country and how marijuana legalization and decriminalization has spread. This shows how powerful we really are.
Source: https://www.thirdway.org/infographic/map-of-state-marijuana-legalization-laws
Conclusion
We are in a time when people have a voice like they never had before. People are speaking up about the injustices in this world. The first step to any change is awareness. People are banning together and protesting racism, police brutality, and finally understanding terms like “white privilege.” People are waking up to the harsh realities of this world. For many, this is the first time in their lives they are realizing such things exist. Women are speaking up and having boundaries for themselves, not accepting sexual harassment and mistreatment as they have their entire existence. Thank you #metoo movement.
To put these changes in perspective, Black Americans got the right to vote in 1870 and women got the right to vote in 1920. Prior to this, Black Americans and women were seen as “objects” or “property.” Look at how far we have grown in 100 years. We still have a long way to go, certainly, yet it is also important to see how much we have changed. That’s what gives us power, belief, and hope.
The world is changing for the better. Minority culture is getting a voice, Congress is becoming more ethnically diverse, and women are taking up more seats in Congress, taking CEO positions of major corporations, and fighting for equal pay. The country is legalizing and decriminalizing marijuana while violent crime rates are down significantly.
When we work together, fight for what we believe in, and see how our vote matters, we make lasting changes. Oxford dictionary defines “learned helplessness: as a condition in which a person suffers from a sense of powerlessness, arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. It is thought to be one of the underlying causes of depression.”
This sense of powerlessness is one of the main reasons so many people don’t vote. They feel like they have no power. The media wants us to fight against each other, to believe we have no power, to remain where we are. Our ego wants the same thing. Our ego is driven by fear, it wants us to stay stuck, to stay in homeostasis, to remain exactly where we are. The ego is based on fear while the heart is based on love. Jimi Hendrix said it best, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
Every person is powerful. Every person matters. Every person has the power to make significant changes in their lives, and the change must start with you.
If you are not registered to vote, it is easy to sign up: https://www.vote.org/register-to-vote/
If you have questions, comments, feedback, post below. Awareness is the first part, let’s keep the conversation going!
